Jet Song

Something's Coming




One Hand, One Heart


I Feel Pretty


Procession and Nightmare

Gee, Officer Krupke

A Boy Like That/I Have A Love


Movie Lyrics | Stage Lyrics


TIGER (spoken)
(imitating Officer Krupke)
Hey, you!

RIFF (spoken)
Me, Officer Krupke?

TIGER (spoken)
(as Krupke)
Yeah, you! Gimme one good reason
For not dragginí ya down to the
Stationhouse, ya punk.

RIFF (sings)
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke,
Ya gotta understand--
Itís just our bringiní upke
That gets us outta hand.
Our mothers all are junkies,
Our fathers all are drunks.
Golly Moses -- natcherly weíre punks.

Gee, Officer Krupke, weíre very upset;
We never had the love that every
Child oughta get.
We ainít no delinquents,
Weíre misunderstood.
Deep down inside us there is good!

There is good!

There is good, there is good,
There is untapped good.
Like inside, the worse of us is good.

TIGER (imitating Krupke)
Thatís a touchiní good story.

Lemme tell it to the world!

TIGER (imitating Krupke)
Just tell it to the Judge.

RIFF (**to Snowboy)
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor,
My parents treat me rough.
With all their marijuana,
They wonít give me a puff.
They didnít wanna have me,
But somehow I was had.
Leapiní lizards --thatís what Iím so bad!

SNOWBOY (imitating a Judge)
Officer Krupke, youíre really a square;
This boy donít need a judge, he
Needs a analysisís care!
Itís just his neurosis that oughta be curbed--
**Heís psychologically disturbed.

Iím disturbed!

Weíre disturbed, weíre disturbed,
Weíre the most disturbed,
Like weíre psychologically disturbed.

SNOWBOY (still acting part of Judge)(spoken)
Hear ye, Her ye! In the opinion
Of this court, this child is
Depraved on account he ainít had a normal home.

RIFF (spoken)
Hey, Iím depraved on account Iím deprived!

SNOWBOY (as judge - spoken)
So take him to a headshrinker.

RIFF (to Action)(sings)
My Daddy beats my Mommy,
My Mommy clobbers me,
My Grandpa is a Commie,
My Grandma pushes tea.
My sister wears a mustache,
My brother wears a dress.
Goodness Gracious, thatís why Iím a mess!

ACTION (as psychiatrist)
Officer Krupke, he shouldnít be here.
This boy donít need a couch, he needs
A useful career.
Societyís played him a terrible trick,
And sociologically heís sick!

I am sick!

We are sick, we are sick,
We are sick sick sick
Like weíre sociologically sick!

ACTION (speaks as psychiatrist)
In my opinion, this child does not need
To have his head shrunk at all.
Juvenile delinquency is purely a
Social disease.

RIFF (spoken)
Hey, I got a social disease!

ACTION (spoken as psychiatrist)
So take him to a social worker!

RIFF (to ARAB)(sings)
Dear kindly social worker,
They tell me get a job,
Like be a soda-jerker,
Which means like be a slob.
Itís not Iím anti-social,
Iím only anti-work.
Gloryosky, thatís why Iím a jerk!

ARAB (as social worker)
Officer Krupke, youíve done it again.
This boy donít need a job, he needs a
Year in the pen.
It ainít just a question of misunderstood;
Deep down inside him, heís no good!

Iím no good!

Weíre no good, weíre no good,
Weíre no earthly good,
Like the best of us is no damn good!

The trouble is heís lazy.

The trouble is he drinks

The trouble is heís crazy.

The trouble is he stinks,

The trouble is heís growing.

The trouble is heís grown!

Krupke, we got troubles of our own!
Gee, Officer Krupke,
Weíre down on our knees.
ĎCause no one wants a fella with
A social disease.
Gee, Officer Krupke,
What are we to do?
Gee, Officer Krupke --
Krup you!

Music by Leonard Bernstein, lyrics by Stephen Sondheim.
© 1956, 1957 Amberson Holdings LLC and Stephen Sondheim. Copyright renewed.
Leonard Bernstein Music Publishing Company LLC, Publisher.

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