Jet Song

Something's Coming

Maria

America

Cool

One Hand, One Heart

Tonight

I Feel Pretty

Somewhere

Procession and Nightmare

Gee, Officer Krupke

A Boy Like That/I Have A Love

Finale

Movie Lyrics | Stage Lyrics

GEE, OFFICER KRUPKE

TIGER (spoken)
(imitating Officer Krupke)
Hey, you!

RIFF (spoken)
Me, Officer Krupke?

TIGER (spoken)
(as Krupke)
Yeah, you! Gimme one good reason
For not dragginí ya down to the
Stationhouse, ya punk.

RIFF (sings)
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke,
Ya gotta understand--
Itís just our bringiní upke
That gets us outta hand.
Our mothers all are junkies,
Our fathers all are drunks.
Golly Moses -- natcherly weíre punks.

ALL
Gee, Officer Krupke, weíre very upset;
We never had the love that every
Child oughta get.
We ainít no delinquents,
Weíre misunderstood.
Deep down inside us there is good!

RIFF
There is good!

ALL
There is good, there is good,
There is untapped good.
Like inside, the worse of us is good.

TIGER (imitating Krupke)
Thatís a touchiní good story.

RIFF
Lemme tell it to the world!

TIGER (imitating Krupke)
Just tell it to the Judge.

RIFF (**to Snowboy)
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor,
My parents treat me rough.
With all their marijuana,
They wonít give me a puff.
They didnít wanna have me,
But somehow I was had.
Leapiní lizards --thatís what Iím so bad!

SNOWBOY (imitating a Judge)
Right!
Officer Krupke, youíre really a square;
This boy donít need a judge, he
Needs a analysisís care!
Itís just his neurosis that oughta be curbed--
**Heís psychologically disturbed.

RIFF
Iím disturbed!

ALL
Weíre disturbed, weíre disturbed,
Weíre the most disturbed,
Like weíre psychologically disturbed.

SNOWBOY (still acting part of Judge)(spoken)
Hear ye, Her ye! In the opinion
Of this court, this child is
Depraved on account he ainít had a normal home.

RIFF (spoken)
Hey, Iím depraved on account Iím deprived!

SNOWBOY (as judge - spoken)
So take him to a headshrinker.

RIFF (to Action)(sings)
My Daddy beats my Mommy,
My Mommy clobbers me,
My Grandpa is a Commie,
My Grandma pushes tea.
My sister wears a mustache,
My brother wears a dress.
Goodness Gracious, thatís why Iím a mess!

ACTION (as psychiatrist)
Yes!
Officer Krupke, he shouldnít be here.
This boy donít need a couch, he needs
A useful career.
Societyís played him a terrible trick,
And sociologically heís sick!

RIFF
I am sick!

ALL
We are sick, we are sick,
We are sick sick sick
Like weíre sociologically sick!

ACTION (speaks as psychiatrist)
In my opinion, this child does not need
To have his head shrunk at all.
Juvenile delinquency is purely a
Social disease.

RIFF (spoken)
Hey, I got a social disease!

ACTION (spoken as psychiatrist)
So take him to a social worker!

RIFF (to ARAB)(sings)
Dear kindly social worker,
They tell me get a job,
Like be a soda-jerker,
Which means like be a slob.
Itís not Iím anti-social,
Iím only anti-work.
Gloryosky, thatís why Iím a jerk!

ARAB (as social worker)
Eek!
Officer Krupke, youíve done it again.
This boy donít need a job, he needs a
Year in the pen.
It ainít just a question of misunderstood;
Deep down inside him, heís no good!

RIFF
Iím no good!

ALL
Weíre no good, weíre no good,
Weíre no earthly good,
Like the best of us is no damn good!

SNOWBOY
The trouble is heís lazy.

JOYBOY
The trouble is he drinks

BABY JOHN
The trouble is heís crazy.

ARAB
The trouble is he stinks,

MOUTHPIECE
The trouble is heís growing.

ACTION
The trouble is heís grown!

ALL
Krupke, we got troubles of our own!
Gee, Officer Krupke,
Weíre down on our knees.
ĎCause no one wants a fella with
A social disease.
Gee, Officer Krupke,
What are we to do?
Gee, Officer Krupke --
Krup you!


Music by Leonard Bernstein, lyrics by Stephen Sondheim.
© 1956, 1957 Amberson Holdings LLC and Stephen Sondheim. Copyright renewed.
Leonard Bernstein Music Publishing Company LLC, Publisher.

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